How I Maintain Professional and Ethical Boundaries
When Working
Within My Community
As a therapist I aim to create a safe space for you to bring yourself openly and honestly. Therefore, it is vital that everything discussed between us will remain completely confidential, and that there are boundaries between the therapy setting and other parts of your life. My working with people from the same communities I am involved in as a trans, queer, non-binary, polyamorous and neuro-diverse person has many advantages. However, I am extra aware of the need to uphold boundaries so we may maintain a professional, confidential, and ethical relationship. Below are my proposed boundaries meant to protect you, the client.
About the Therapy
Within therapy there is an emphasis on the body, as well as feelings and thoughts. In my view, the body is inseparable from the mind, as we experience the world first and foremost through our body and senses, which then shapes who we are physically, emotionally and mentally. Within the body we hold so much: ourselves, our pain, memories, traumas and our unwritten history. Our body speaks all the time. Through therapy we will strive to listen and connect to it and to ourself.
There is much room to talk about gender, sexuality, sensations within the body, and how you feel about the body and its parts. However, this is not sexual therapy, and we will both be fully clothed.
Some of the tools I use include talking, breath work, movement, Focusing, Constellation, and touch.
Touch is not very common within our society, and it is possible that the thought of it occurring during therapy can elicit many uncomfortable feelings and worries. That is why I feel it’s important to elaborate exactly what might or might not happen in the case you or I suggest touch:
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I am a trained body psychotherapist, and the touch I offer is a therapeutic tool meant for you alone.
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It will not be sexual, will not be done on intimate parts, and will be done over clothing.
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Different types of touch can include eye contact, laying a hand, or massage.
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It will be one-sided – from me to you.
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We will first discuss this, and feel into it by letting your “gut feeling” decide whether this will happen or not.
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If we agree upon touch, we will define where and where not I shall perform the touch, and decide whether you will be standing, sitting, or lying down, and where I will be positioned in relation to you.
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At first the duration of the touch will be short in order to feel whether it still feels right for you.
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I will encourage you to talk while being touched, and note how sensations arising from the body relate to the subject you will choose to discuss.
Confidentiality
This is a central element in professional codes of ethical behavior, as well as statutory requirements. It is a value I personally feel strongly about.
I will ensure safeguards for confidentiality and will strictly adhere to secure record keeping.
I will not out your or anyone else’s identities, interests or activities.
I will not identify myself to others as your therapist. However, if you decide to do so, I will not deny it. Of course, I still will not talk about what we are working on.
All information will remain confidential, with some notable exceptions:
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Supervision: As part of my ongoing professional development and to ensure a standardized and ethical practice I am regularly supervised by supervisor therapists. This is part of the safeguarding that I am acting appropriately for your best outcomes. When I do discuss your case, I do not mention any contact details, and your personal situation is presented concisely, so you remain unidentifiable.
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In the case that you and I both agree to consult with a third party: If during therapy you or I suggest that I contact another practitioner working with you, we will first talk about this and agree on what will be shared or not, and I will request your signature on a confidentiality release form.
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In the rare case I am obligated to do so by law: If you say anything that implies a serious risk to life or preventable injury to yourself, a vulnerable adult, child or person, or if you are planning or have committed an act of terrorism, I have the right to breach your confidence. I would in the first instance encourage you to report yourself to the appropriate authorities. This is to maintain your autonomy. If you choose to continue that behavior then I would have no choice but to, after consulting my supervisor, disclose that information to the relevant authorities. That being said, I am aware that not every thought of harm to yourself or others means you intend to act upon it, and I welcome further discussion about this issue and how this makes you feel.
Boundaries
Friends and Acquaintances:
Once we begin therapy, we will not be involved romantically, sexually, be friends or engage in a business relationship outside of the therapy relationship.
If we already know each other well or closely I will not take you on as a client.
I will not enter a therapeutic relationship with your family members or partners.
If we are acquaintances, including Social Media friends, but do not know each other well, it may be appropriate to work together. We will discuss the implications of any prior interaction and knowledge of each other.
Working in a small community means we might have some mutual friends, acquaintances, or social connections, also known as dual relationships. This is a common reality for practitioners working in small communities. This does not necessarily prevent us from having a therapeutic relationship.
If the potential for dual relationships exists between us, it is important that we openly address this. This will allow us to explore how it may affect your therapy. It provides you with a choice and allows you to reflect on whether you feel comfortable working with me or not, and allows me to openly discuss with you if I have any concerns. In such a situation, we would discuss further boundaries, or we could consider alternative treatment options.
If I know with some degree of intimacy or regularity or am working with people that are very close to you, such as a current lover, an ex, close friend, or family member, or if you have a close and/or intimate relationship with someone similarly close to me it is important we raise this issue once it is known. We may decide that this duality is manageable in the context of this therapeutic relationship, possibly with further boundaries. However, we will likely have to end our relationship, as it would be difficult for me to stay neutral and guarantee you safe boundaries, and I would refer you to another therapist.
As communities in Israel are small there are some small-scale social events where we might meet, such as birthday parties, casual meetings at a friend’s house, trips, etc.
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If we know of such events in advance, we will discuss them beforehand.
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If it feels possible for us to share them, we might agree not to talk with each other, or to not overhear each other.
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If this isn’t possible, or feels it isn’t right for us, we might agree on taking turns at participating in such events.
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If we meet in such an event without knowing in advance, I will take my cue from how you acknowledge me. Otherwise, I may make eye contact, smile, or nod.
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After the event I will welcome discussing anything that may have come up for you.
Public Spaces:
If we meet in public, I will take my cue from how you acknowledge me, and/or what we have talked about and agreed upon. Otherwise, I may make eye contact, smile, or nod.
Every so often I frequent clubs, where we might meet. As might happen in a club either one of us may be dancing, flirting, making out, or be under the influence. I believe it is important to have spaces where we can ‘let go’, but I will be open to later discussing how it felt for you to see me/ be seen.
Social Networks:
On Facebook I have a professional account, which is public. I have another more private one on which I share more private information. It’s important for me to keep some degree of separation between the private me and other parts of my life.
If we are currently friends on Facebook and decide to enter a therapeutic relationship, we will cease to be Facebook friends. I am open to discussing your feelings about that.
If we are not currently friends on Facebook and you send me a friend request it will be declined. However, you could still follow the professional account.
We may find we are in the same Facebook groups, and see each other’s posts. If I see your posts, I will not comment on them – whether on Facebook or in therapy – but will be open to us discussing them if you bring them up. We could also discuss any thoughts or feelings that come up from reading my posts.
Sexuality Festivals or Workshops:
As a workshop facilitator on the subjects of gender and sexuality I will sometimes participate in sexuality festivals and workshops - both as participant or as facilitator. This is important for my personal and professional development.
In the case we’ve previously met in such an event as participants:
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If we’ve witnessed each other in sexual scenes at festivals or workshops, or interacted together in a sexual workshop, I won’t take you on as a client.
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If we’ve interacted in a non-sexual workshop, casually and briefly, and at least a year ago, we can talk about what it meant to each of us, and whether it will adversely affect developing a therapeutic relationship.
If you become a client, we agree to share with each other any plans to attend such events. After talking about it, if we decide to go to the same event, we will set some rules for the event, such as:
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Not to engage in any kind of sexual activity with each other.
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Not to watch or listen to each other's play activities – sexual or otherwise.
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If nudity is optional, I may be nude to some degree and you may witness this. If you decide to be nude, I may also witness this. I will never remark about body weight, size or form, but in our next session will welcome a discussion about how it felt to see me and/or be seen by me. In therapy we will continue meeting clothed.
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If we are unsure how to navigate boundaries, whilst at the event we can contact each other via text in order to arrange how to navigate this discreetly.
If you wish to attend a workshop I am running, we will discuss this in advance, taking into account the nature and subject of the workshop, and how this may affect your therapy.
After Therapy:
I am committed to helping you feel safe even after the end of the therapeutic process.
I will continue to follow the same confidentiality principle in this statement.
We will no longer have a dual relationship but I acknowledge it might still be awkward and unsure to meet each other in shared spaces. Therefore, once you’ve decided on terminating therapy, we will discuss rules around possible future contact.
If we do not have this discussion, and we meet each other in an event I may make eye contact, smile, or nod, but not go beyond that.
If we’d be interested in becoming friends and a minimum of three years have passed, we can talk about what therapy meant to each of us, and whether we could become friends. However, this would bar us from working therapeutically together again.
It isn’t uncommon for clients to continue their journey by pursuing and becoming mental health professionals. This means in the future we could find ourselves as colleagues. If we’d be interested in working together and a minimum of two years have passed, we can talk about what therapy meant to each of us, and whether we could work together. However, this would also bar us from working therapeutically together again.